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1. 00:01 my name is sakne I am the author of malignant self love narcissism Revisited the dissolution of the abusers marriage or other meaningful relationships constitutes a major life crisis and scaving narcissistic injury to soothe and solve the pain of disillusionment the narcissist
2. 00:25 administers to his aching Soul a mixture of Lies distortions Hal truths and outlandish interpretations of events all abusers present with rigid and infantile or primitive defense mechanisms splitting projecting projective identification denial intellectualization and narcism
3. 00:50 but some abusers go further and they decompensate by resorting to self- delusion unable to face the Dismal failure that they are such narcissists partially withdraw from reality and adopt one of a few possible scenarios and solutions first one is the
4. 01:12 masochistic avoidant solution the abuser directs some of the fury that he feels the rage some of it inwards punishing himself for his failure this masochistic Behavior has the added benefit of force ing the abusers closest to assume the roles of dismayed spect Spectators or of
5. 01:36 persecutors and thus either way to pay him the attention that he craves self-administered punishment often manifests as self-handicapping masochism a copout by undermining his work his relationships and his efforts the increasingly fragile fragile abuser
6. 01:56 avoids additional tension stress criticism and censure negative Supply self-inflicted failure is the abusers doing and proves that he is still in control still the master of his own life he chooses to fail masochistic abusers keep finding themselves in self-defeating
7. 02:19 circumstances which render success impossible and as Milan put it an objective assessment of their performance improbable they act care LLY they withdraw in mid effort they are constantly fatigued bored or disaffected and thus passively aggressively sabotage
8. 02:39 their lives their suffering is defined and by declining to abort they reassert their omnipotence the abusers pronounced in public misery and self-pity are compensatory and again to quote Milan reinforce the abusers self-esteem against overwhelming convictions of
9. 03:02 worthlessness the narcissistic abusers tribulations and anguish render him in his in his own eyes unique saintly virtuous righteous resilient and significant they are in other words self-generated narcissistic Supply thus paradoxically the worse The Narcissist
10. 03:26 anguish and unhappiness after a dissolved Rel relationship the more relieved and elated such an abuser feels he is liberated and Unshackled by his own self-initiated abandonment that’s the way he presents it at least he never really wanted this commitment he tells any willing or
11. 03:48 button hole listener and anyhow their relationship was doomed from the beginning by the gous exis and exploits of his meaningful other his wife his partner his friend or his boss then there is the delusional narrative this this kind of abuser constructs a narrative in which he
12. 04:12 figures as the hero he’s brilliant perfect irresistibly handsome destined for great things entitled powerful wealthy center of attention and so on the bigger the strain on this delusional shade in other words the greater the gap between fantasy and reality the more the
13. 04:32 delusion coalesces and solidifies finally if it is sufficiently protracted the delusion replaces reality and the abusers reality test deteriorates he withdraws his Bridges and may become schizotypal catonic or schizoid another type of reaction to
14. 04:55 dissolve relationships is the antisocial solution this his type of abuser has a natural Affinity with a Criminal his lack of empathy and compassion his deficient social skills his disregard for social laws and morals now erupt and Blossom he becomes a full-fledged
15. 05:15 antisocial sociopath or psychopath he ignores the wishes and needs of others he breaks the law he violates All rights both natural and legal he holds people in contempt and disdain he derides and decries society and and its codes he punishes the
16. 05:34 ignorant ingrates that to his mind drove him to this state and he does it by acting criminally and by jeopardizing their safety lives livelihood and property another solution is the paranoid schizoid solution there is a class of abusers who develop persecutory delusions such a
17. 06:00 an abuser a narcissistic abuser perceives slights and insults where none were intended he becomes subject to ideas of reference he believes that people are gossiping about him mocking him behind his back prying into his Affairs cracking his email and so he’s
18. 06:16 convinced that he is a center of a malign and Mal intentioned attention even a conspiracy people are conspiring to humiliate him to punish him to abscond with his property to delude him to impoverish him to confine him physically or intellectually to censor
19. 06:32 him to impose on his time to force him into action or into inaction to frighten him to coers him to surround and beseech him change his mind to part with his values to victimize or even in extreme cases to assassinate him some abusers withdraw completely from a world
20. 06:50 populated with such minacious and ominous objects these are of course projections of internal objects and processes these abusers avoid all social contact except the most necessary they refrain from meeting people falling in love having sex talking to others or
21. 07:09 even corresponding with them in short they become schis not out of social social shyness but out of what they feel to be a choice this evil helpless World hopeless world does not deserve me goes the inner dialogue or refrain and I shall waste none of my time in resources on it any
22. 07:30 longer and finally there is the paranoid aggressive or explosive solution abuse some abusers who develop persecutory delusions as we describe result resort to an aggressive stance a more violent resolution of their internal conflict they become verbally
23. 07:48 psychologically situationally and more rarely physically abusive insult castigate chastise berate demean and deride the nearest and dearest of often wellwishers and loved ones they explode in unprovoked displays of indignation righteousness condemnation and blame
24. 08:08 theirs is an exegetic and hermeneutic bedam they interpret everything even the most innocuous inadvertent and innocent comment is designed to provoke and humiliate them they saw fear revulsion hate and malignant Envy they flail Against The Windmills of reality tilt
25. 08:27 against them in Don kot Mana they are a
26. 08:33 pathetic for La site but often they cause real and Lasting damage fortunately mainly to
27. 08:45 themselves