My name is Sam Vaknin, I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

Narcissistic supply, admiration, julation, and in general attention is exciting. When narcissistic supply is available, the narcissist feels elated, omnipotent, omniscient, handsome, sexy, adventurous, invisible and irresistible.

When, on the other hand, narcissistic supply is missing or deficient, the narcissist first enters a manic phase of trying to replenish his supply. If he fails, the narcissist shrivels, is deflated, withdraws, and is reduced to a zombie-like state of numbness.

Some people and all narcissists are addicted to excitement, to the adrenaline rush, to the danger that inevitably and invariably accompanies reckless behaviors. They are the adrenaline junkies. All narcissists are adrenaline junkies, but not all adrenaline junkies are narcissists.

Narcissistic supply is the narcissist’s particular sort of thrill, his drug of choice.

Deficient narcissistic supply is the same as absence of excitement and thrills in non-narcissistic adrenaline junkies.

Originally in early childhood, narcissistic supply was meant to hurt the narcissist, regulate his volatile sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

But narcissistic supply, regardless of its psychodynamic functions, also simply feels good. The narcissist grows addicted to the gratifying effects of narcissistic supply. He reacts with anxiety when constant, reliable provision is absent or threatened.

Narcissistic supply is pleasurable.

Thus, narcissistic supply always comes with excitement on the one hand and with anxiety on the other hand.

Excitement, because it’s pleasurable, anxiety, lest it be withdrawn. Narcissist is afraid that he won’t be able to secure narcissistic supply in the future and is therefore constantly anxious.

When unable to secure normal narcissistic supply, adulation, recognition, fame, celebrity, notoriety, infamy, affirmation or mere attention, the narcissist resorts to abnormal narcissistic supply. He tries to obtain his drug, the thrills, the good feeling that comes with narcissistic supply by behaving recklessly, by succumbing to substance abuse or by living dangerously.

Such narcissists faced with a chronic state of deficient narcissistic supply become criminals or race car drivers or gamblers or soldiers or investigative journalists or police officers. They defy authority. They avoid safety routine in boredom. No safe sex, no financial prudence, no stable marriage or career. They become peripatetic, they change jobs or lovers or vocations or avocations or residences or friendships, anything to generate excitement in their lives.

But sometimes even these extreme and demonstrative steps are not enough. When confronted with a boring routine existence with a chronic and permanent inability to secure narcissistic supply and with a pronounced lack of excitement, these narcissists compensate by inventing thrills where they are known.

So they become paranoid, full of delusional persecutory notions and ideas of reference and conspiracies. They develop phobias, fear of flying, fear of heights, fear of enclosed open spaces of cats or spiders. Fear is a good substitute to the excitement they saw crave and that constantly lose them.

Anxiety leads to the frenetic search for narcissistic supply. Obtaining the supply causes a general or transient sense of well-being, relief and release as the anxiety is abated and alleviated.

This cycle is addictive.

Anxiety, heightened anxiety, manic search for narcissistic supply, finding narcissistic supply, reduced anxiety, anxiety, relief, sense of well-being.

But what generates anxiety in the first place? Are people born adrenaline junkies or do they become ones?

No one knows for sure. It may be genetically determined. We may discover one day that adrenaline junkies conditioned by defective genes develop special neural and biochemical paths and unusual sensitivity to adrenaline. Or it may indeed be the said outcome of abuse and trauma during the formative years as is the current thinking.

The brain is plastic, easily influenced by recurrent bouts of capricious and malicious treatment.

Bear this in mind, we can also say that the prognosis for this particular behavior in narcissism, reckless behavior, adrenaline seeking, thrill seeking, prognosis is pretty good.

Since the brain is plastic, these processes are reversible.